3 Ways we deal with hurt...

When it comes to hurt and rejection, every last one of us are not immune to it. If you live long enough, everyone of you will be confronted with this discomfort and emotional pain many times throughout your lifetime. The question is, how will you handle it and when it happens what do you do to get through it? For many, there is a attitude that says, if I stay away from emotional situations than I won ’t get hurt in the first place.

THIS IS CALLED...

1) AVOIDANCE

This mind set says, “If I avoid getting close to people then they can ’t hurt me.” Although this may sound very functional in theory, in reality it is neither realistic or effective. Truth this, we will never truly develop ourselves to our fullest potential unless we spend time and learn from others. I have found that almost every experience in my life can be become either a “to do” lesson, or an “ avoid at all costs” lesson, and most of them have to do with my interaction with other people. When we spend time observing other peoples behavior, we can learn a lot about how humans deal with situations in life and how to either model those same practices or learn from their mistakes. When we avoid peoples behavior in fear that they may hurt us or take advantage of our vulnerability, we will never learn how to improve our own behavior and as a result remain in an immature,self centered state of mind.

2) BLAME

This mind set says that whenever something hurtful happens to us, it is never our fault and the only mistake we may have made was trusting that person or persons in the first place. This is just as destructive as avoidance because just like the previous excuse, we fail to learn any lessons from our hurtful experience. Every bad experience that we go through teaches us something about us

How we think, how we respond to situations around us and what we could do in the future to avoid that painful experience again. When we spend all our time focusing on what “ others” have done to us, we will never learn these crucial lessons. We will wander from one hurtful experience to another wondering why we seem to have all this bad luck in our lives, not realizing that the answer to cure our misery lies right within us. The final solution to dealing pain and rejection is the most healthy one, and this is...

3) ACCEPT & LEARN

Everyone has to face the fact that if you are going to live in a real world, people will hurt you. They will let you down, break promises and the truth is, many times they will do this unintentionally. To survive in this world I would encourage you to use an adage that I mentioned in my latest book, “Defining the Call, ” that says this; “Hold on to people loosely and to God tightly, ” Expect that people, even with the best intentions, will eventually let you down. Therefore expect it and don ’t be shocked when it happens. Holding on to them loosely doesn’t mean that you, “love them from a distance, ” but actually means you need to love the people that God puts in your life with all your might. Serving you fellow man and, “loving your neighbor as you love yourself.” Yet while doing all this, being fully aware that they could let you down tomorrow.